Friends like these

Well if you didn't want the world to see it, you shouldn't have done it!

I'm not referring to my paintings. I'm referring to a little spoof art documentary, filmed by some of my friends after a few pints (of vodka) on my birthday.

I was completely unaware that this little cultural gem existed until I reviewed the interview tapes and found it tagged on the end.

I am visible in this film - talking to my friend Steve in the background - but was completely unaware of what was going on mere inches away from me.

This short masterpiece features Anne-Marie, Roo, Jon and David (with a few innocent by-drinkers in the background, including my brother Calum, Paul, Jonathan, Leen, Graeme, Justin, Catherine H, Charlotte, Catherine WB and Grant).

Highlights include:

Anne-Marie's impersonation of art critic Sister Wendy Beckett.

Jon's revelation that seeing me nude served only to confirm his sexuality.

And who shall forget (and who might regret), "I'm reviewing her arse in a very positive light... it's post-modern, it's provocative, it's naked, it's out there!"